Just Ignore The Assholes

CN: Emocean, Victim Blaming

Audio version: 20-04-23-JustIgnoreTheAssholes.mp3

Everything started harmless.
You just asked me how I feel.
And I was honest.

So you asked why I felt so bad.
And I told in a sentence
That I was harmed badly in the past
And something brought it up again.

But why was it hurting me, you ask.
Why would such a simple thing cause so much pain in me.

Why can I not just ignore the assholes?
And then I know
That you will think I was weak
Until I present myself emotionally completely naked before you,
Until I told you why something does not hurt so much if you experience it once
But if you grow up with it, and if you have no place to draw back to
If you are lonely and you face the ignorance everywhere
If...

And there is this slight chance
That even then you do not understand.
But likely you do.

Probably you want to support me.
But you need to understand.
Why?

Why can't you accept that my feelings are valid, before I get naked?
Why can't you support me, before you understand?
Why do you build up so much pressure for me to justify why I can't just ingnore the assholes.
'Cause if you don't, if you think I should be able to just ignore,
Then you imply that I was lazy or weak or something.
With these "why can't you just" questions you blame me for my feelings.
You blame me for the effects of discrimination, suppression, and hatred.

So, here is what I wish:
If you ask why I feel so bad
Give me the visible chance to opt-out of talking about it.
Show me, that there is no need to justify.
And make clear, that it is okay to feel bad and that you will support me even if you don't have the whole picture.
Because you trust me, that I won't make things up.
Do you?

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